I. R.

You can design your own footie t-shirts at the Guardian. You can choose between several naff designs, or create your own. I've been arsing around with it for a little while and have designed my very own retro France t-shirt with Platini's name on the back. Of course, I'm not going to order it because it looks a bit shit. I toyed with the idea of a shirt with 'Poulantzas' on the back and some witty aphorism of his on the front - a bit like those 'Philosophy Football' t-shirts. Unfortunately Poulantzas never came up, as far as I know, with any witty aphorisms. In any case, I don't have any money for frivolities at the moment.

However, I would quite like to order a t-shirt with 'Clarkson must die' on the front and with a picture of his huge annoying face on the back, ringed and with a cross through it ( like the Ghostbusters logo).