Thursday, May 11, 2006

Great Responsibility

I'm writing a best man speech for my brother's wedding on Saturday. It's bloody funny. A ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, I'm cracking myself up. I must stop.

I must say that the interwebs turns out to be very handy indeed, should you need assistance in the construction of a wedding speech. Of course, I'm not using any of those sites. It's all my own work.

I'm not entirely sure what my duties are - as far as I know I just turn up on the day in a suit, offer some words of mild encouragement to the groom ('come on now', 'have a nice cup of tea', 'you look ok' - that sort of thing), proffer the ring to somebody at the correct moment (this requires a certain amount of timing apparently- but is not too onerous), make a speech, sit down again, shake hands with people and smile and stuff like that.

Thankfully my brother is not going in for all that morning suits and top hats business, and it's not going to be very formal. Unfortunately there will be no alcohol at the dinner, so no Dutch courage will be available for the speech - and neither can I rely on the audience being so tipsy that they'd laugh at anything. Perhaps I need to work on the speech a bit more.

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