Friday, June 17, 2005


I've been lassoed into the Superhero 'meme' (yuck) by Doug. Unfortunately, I have about as much knowledge about superheroes and supervillains as I do about the Nicaraguan Pocket Gopher (which is not very much). However, I shall endeavour to please.

1) If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)

A number of infantile super-abilities spring to my infantile mind - jet fart power, or the ability to make bad guys poo their pants with a special laxative ESP mind-ray. But I shall avoid the temptation. I suppose, I would like the ability to read other people's minds - which is very sinister, I know. I have a dark heart.

2) Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?

A difficult one. The one superhero I remember vaguely fancying as a child was that 'Firestar' from 80's cartoon Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. Actually, having just looked at that site, yes, I still fancy Firestar. Although, she could probably ditch the Dame Edna Everidge specs.

Why do I fancy her? Well, it's got something to do with chromosomes, hormones and the in-built animal desire to copulate emerging from the functional necessity for any species to reproduce - or something like that.

3) Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?

I hate no-one, fictional or otherwise. Ohhhmmmmm.

Although I've never liked that Incredible Hulk - such an uncouth thug, don't you think? He's always knocking things over, breaking stuff and generally going around making a nuisance of himself. He's just a big show off really. Ooh look at me!! I'm big and green and I'm really angry!! Watch me stamp my big green feet!!! Grrrr!!

Wanker. I hate him.

4) OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)

All the good names have been taken. Still, I suppose I could be Y-Fronts Man or Farto-Man - but, again, that's childish. I must take this seriously.

I would be Dark Angel, if that pesky Jessica Alba hadn't got there first. So it's got to be The Dark Avenger... or something. That's probably the name of a popular brand of dildo, but never mind.

5) For extra credit: Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?

Not really. You see, we have to throw off our childish and (gasp) reactionary fantasies of superheroes, great individuals, who can descend from on high to save us - the grateful, passive majority. The great task of human liberation can only be undertaken by the mass of people, acting together to emancipate themselves, collectively, from the chains of bondage and oppression - chains not created by some 'super-villain' or evil force, but constituted by the social structures into which we have all been inserted.... blah de blah etc etc. Yawn. I almost got carried away there.

Although, I would quite like to be Spiderman.

6) Pass it on. Three people please, and why they're the wind beneath your wings.

No. Don't want to.

Anyway, after a quick check of my links, I think most people in my little sphere of blogland have already done it.

Of course, if any reader with a blog, wants to take it on, then let me know and I'll change this last section - as if I was always going to pass it to you all along.

Now I'm off to ogle Firestar.


I was actually always going to pass it on to Planeshift, cos he's ace.

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